Remembering the Hell Inside Me (Riku Love Story)
by Rhasslairiel
Summary: She has no memory, yet her friendships with the three companions lead her to discover more. Riku is this confused girl's best friend, but his temptations to Darkness begin to tear them apart. There may be more to each other then they both knew themselves...


**Remembering The Hell Inside Me**

Disclaimer: This is for the entire story, I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters. I do, however, own my created original character, Siren.

* * *

**Introduction:**

I felt myself falling... No, I knew I was falling. The wind whipped my midnight black hair around my face as my arms let themselves float forward, my stomach seeming as though it were pressing into my racing chest. The fire, the star sparks flew in front of me as glistening candle lights as my descend quickened, and shining beams of beauty gleamed in the sky as I dropped. I was completely weak, my muscles limp and unable to move. As the fall took over my blank mind, time itself seemed to stretch on forever, and I stared at the millions of stars above me that slowly seemed to fade away to dim light, and then Darkness.

_ I don't belong here..._

My head had begun to ache and my eyes drooped as the wind began to chill, causing a shiver up my spine. I saw suddenly within my mind a flash in a beam of colors, drawing a scene so quick in change it almost hurt.

_ Small, centered islands were surrounded by oceanic water, the waves splashing gently against the coast as the currents drifted inward and outward. My senses and nerves tingled while the sun beat down on me, my feet planted in the warm sand. An illuminating beacon of hope, and perhaps my survival. A young boy played in the seaside sand alongside a little girl. The boy's brown hair spiked several ways, his body clothed a plain white T-shirt and a red pair of shorts. The girl donned a white tank top that slightly covered her purple skirt, her neck length reddish-brunette hair beautifully falling a tad bit over her eyes. They looked up and smile at me brightly as they both let out a cheerful laugh, and their happiness caused a spark of change across my usually still lips._

I was tossed back into **_my_** falling reality, pieces of my mind seeming to come undone and spread apart. The space around me seemed to stretch on forever in complete blackness. My consciousness was close to slipping away, weary and weak body barely able to move a muscle. Within my sight, I witnessed the starlight of hundreds, fade slowly, their illuminating essence burning out brightly with one last twinkle before Darkness shrouded their once vibrant life. One by one. My mind flashed in beams of colors once again, the scenery being formed as though an expert artist was fiddling his way through a world.

_ This time, standing in the water and looking out beyond the ocean, was another. A boy with silver hair comparable to the dim moonlight on chilly nights that housed the sound of howling wolves. His back was turned to me, the brown haired boy and reddish headed girl laughing harmoniously. The silverette wore a bright yellow shirt, almost appearing neon within the equally bright sunlight, and deeply dark blue knee length shorts as his fair skin reached down gently to sweep his hand through the cool salt water. I took a hesitant step forward in the sand, a light whisper emitting from the boy, and his neck lengthed silver hair flipped in his motion as he spun his head around to catch my gaze with his bright, aquamarine blue eyes. A slow smile peaked from his lips as I took another step toward him, and almost within arm's reach, just as sudden as before, my mind was yanked back into reality._

Aching incredibly, my hands gripped my skull in a clutching manner, attempting to ward off the pain. My fall quickened to lightning speed that is only seen during thunderstorms and harsh rain, like the flash of light within the dark overhead. My eyes scanned the sky once again, starlight dimming into Darkness the same as before in the continuing action as the asterisks disappeared from life.

**_Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!_**

I felt what was unconsciously left in the remainder of my mind escape, confusing my conscience of reality and dreams. The echoes of the children's laughs floated through the air, sending a shiver of strange fear up my spine, and suddenly my vision became blinded by overwhelming white lights, causing my eyes to squint in attempt to adjust to the new brightness. As soon as it dimmed down to only an illuminating one, the islands I had just witnessed within my mind came into view in the true world, surrounded by tidal ocean water and clear, cloudless blue sky. My body had begun to gain some of its strength back and yet suddenly, the light became blindingly bright again, and I turned away, shielding my face behind my frail arms. My consciousness slipped completely away as the light took over...

**~~~Upon the Beachside~~~**

_"Move Sora!" A young, feminine voice demanded._

_"No! You move! I was here first! Riku help me!" Another defended irritably, sounds of pushing, shoving, and grunting soon following._

_"... Hey, What's that? Sora! Kairi! Come here!"..._

_"Hey! Be gentle or you'll hurt her."_ A voice advised very close in an overdramatized whisper. I felt the ache inside my head return in a throbbing heartbeat, each following pulse of blood bringing a new wave of pain.

_"Well, maybe she'd _**_want_**_ to wake up if you two weren't so loud!"_ Another whispered strictly, scolding the two that seemed to surround me as I felt a large, warm hand upon my left thigh.

_ Get off me._

_"Sora, Riku's right. You _**_are_**_ being a little rambunctious."_ The young girl's voice spoke in an understanding manner, but nonetheless snooty. Another hand moved from touching my skin to hovering above it, the slight pressure of cloth being tightened around my limb gently but securely.

_"Ouch! Kairi!" _A loud thump followed suit the remark, a giggle accompanying the gasp of pain.

_"Psh... A little."_ The deepest of all three voices taunted, being the closest to me. When the person finished wrapping my thigh, the warm touch moved up to my right upper arm, quiet, bare footsteps exiting the room without another word. The remaining being continued tending to apparent wounds, my body laying still as death and cold as ice. The warmth of the hands finished on my upper limb silently and retreated, the contact becoming absent for a few long moments before tender fingers touched my torso's shirt and began to lift it. My eyes darted open before it could be moved any more, my body jolting upward and scrambling away from the living creature in front of me.

"Hey! It's okay, don't worry! I'm not gonna hurt you!" The boy before me struggled to explain his position, his hands offered upward in an unaggressive motion to show he meant no harm, and my own defense slowly went down at the recognition of the silverette male, his aquamarine eyes displaying acceptance.

_ You..._

His pale hands were splotched with blood here and there, rubbing alcohol, healing ointment and potions, and folded bandage wrappings organized neatly on the bed which I had been laying on. My eyes glanced around the room, from the light, sand colored wooden sword by the doorway, to the open window that revealed the light blue, translucent ocean water drifting in and out. As my body lost its tense appearance and uncomfortable movements, my attention shifted back to the now kneeling silverette.

"... I was just going to tend to your stomach wound." His words were gentle, nothing close to hostile, and I slowly moved forward, supporting my body with my arm to lay down carefully.

_ Wound...?_

My orbs stared up to the star covered ceiling, the unevenly suspended stars spread across the upper covering like constellations of astronomy in the sky. The silver haired boy reached his hands down slowly again, lifting my tattered shirt from above the ragged jeans, torn and bloodied. I sensed his aquamarine eyes scan my torso for a few moments, the soft breeze of the open window stinging at the raw wound.

_ This isn't right..._

"I don't belong here..." My voice was eerily unfamiliar, but the boy only continued his inspection, and soon started cleansing the gash with rubbing alcohol, generously applying a healing liquid soon after.

"What's your name?" The silverette asked curiously, ignoring my previous comment and bringing his arms around my torso to lace the bandage cloth around my stomach.

_ My name...?_

**_Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!_**

The suspending sound of the never ending count of the seconds passing by once again made itself present, and my heart jumped in panic, racing into a dangerously high pace.

"I'm... Um... Sss..." I felt my face flush with blood, my words stumbling over each other in my thoughts and out loud.

**_Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!_**

"Sss... Siiirrr..." The embarrassment of the silver headed boy staring at me caused a stump in my skipping conscience, the single word still unclear within my mind.

_ Why can't I... Remember...?_

"Siiirrreee... Siren..." Initially, the sound of what was apparently my name, sounded strange to me, before the echoes of different voices filled my audibility, speaking the word in whispers that sounded forbiddingly familiar. Looking up to the aquamarine eyed boy who still tended to me, a faint smile crossed my normally stiff lips as I met an expression of welcoming happiness.

"Well Siiirrreeennn, I'm Riiikkkuuu..." He introduced in a teasing manner, his face gleaming with a smile and his orbs glistening within the midday sunlight.

_ Riku... How could I?_

Feeling the warmth of the welcoming approach spread throughout every nerve of my body from my fingers to my toes, I couldn't deny my emotions the ability to accept this good feeling. This _happiness_.

"How does your body feel?" This boy named Riku asked, finishing the tie to the last bandage and retreating from the closeness he was once at. He looked down at me, holding one of his fair skinned, bloodied hands to assistant me to sit up.

"I guess I'm-" I grasped his hand tightly, the touch between our limbs crashing waves of comfort into my chest.

_ That's weird-_

"Ow!" My face contorted into a grimace of pain, opposite hand clutching at my stomach as I felt the currents of blood pulse and attempt to escape the wound there. Breaths became shallow under the sudden pain, the understanding of my injuries settling down in the reality side of my conscience.

"Are you okay?!" Riku asked urgently, his other hand reaching out to hold my shoulder, supporting my body to stay sitting upright as to not cause more pain from a fall. My breaths calmed slowly before I could make an attempt to reply.

"Yeah, I think I'm okay." I answered hesitantly, not sure to expect another tsunami of pain again as I straightened my posture.

"You can stay here as long as you like. I'm sure the Mayor would allow you to reside-" Riku's informative words became interrupted by a very rushed, spiky haired brunette.

"Kairi! Wait up! Don't leave me!" The younger boy bolted down the hall from within the open door and spotted the silverette that sat in front of me with his body now twisted toward the oncoming spikes, the brunette's face lighting up with an appearance of 'There you are!'.

"Hey Riku! You mixed up your underwear with mine last night after we got dressed! Here!" Without as much of an inch of attention to what either of us were doing, the brunette flung a piece of clothing at Riku's chest and dashed back down the direction he came from.

"S-Sora!" The silver head stuttered out, his hands attempting to crumple up the undergarments so as not to be visible. I stood slowly, somewhat painfully, my eyes looking down at Riku's form as his blushed face looked up to me in embarrassment. Weak hands reached out steadily, gripping the under-shorts and examining the pattern of shadow shaded, bright yellow star fruits, each connected to a deep green leaf.

_ How cute..._

"They're just-" The silverette started, humiliation noticeable in his voice when I interrupted him.

"They're kind of cute." I noted out loud, bringing the star fruit decorated undergarments to my waist in a manner of examining how they'd look on me. My lips formed a barely noticeable smile slowly, and Riku snatched the underwear from me

"Stop that!" The smile on boy's face was incomparable as he found the nearest drawer and shoved them inside, hiding them away. Riku's hands were behind his back holding the drawer securely shut, his body facing me as his voice turned immediately to small fits of laughter.

_ His laugh..._

My own voice soon followed, every jump of the aquamarine eyed boy's vocal lines harmonious in their smooth flow, and I couldn't hold back the effect that this silver head's joy caused in me.

_ Inseparable by any force... _**_Or so you think_**_... And _**_I _**_shoulder the_**_ blame..._**

* * *

"Let go Riku! I don't want to talk about it anymore!" I harshly yanked my arms away from the silverette I've known for so long, stumbling over my own feet on the stony and dirt mixed ground as Riku tried to grasp my arm or hand once again. My eyes were burning like an inferno, heart throbbing in my chest with every painful beat of blood cells through the veins within my body.

His scent was so _enticing_, his presence so _fascinating_, and struggling, straining against the want, I couldn't manage to contain it.

_ I don't understand it..._

"Siren! **_Wait!_**" The harsh tone in his voice that I normally never heard, forced my body to stop in a sudden reaction of fear, and I turned to him hesitantly, each movement of mine cautious. Riku's expression was down in a manner of disappointment, his breaths heaving in and out from running after me.

_ I'm sorry..._

"Won't you talk to me...?" The silver head's hands held up in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing as I turned around and resumed my path away from society. The grip upon my wrist was less than forceful, but nonetheless strong when Riku attempted to pull me back towards town.

"Stop! Don't touch me!" Shaking his tough grip off of my limb, I increased in pace as mind and body struggled over who had the first head in command. Riku grunted in distress at my motions that shook him off, as if I didn't want to be around him at all.

_ I can't... Keep my control..._

The pull within me forced my feet and legs to halt their motion, refusing to go any further from the silver headed boy, and I swallowed hard in the stress of my body struggling to regain what had been taken from it.

_ Get away..._

"Why are you avoiding me so much? Where've you been the past week? Do you know how worried everyone has been?!" Riku demanded in the same harsh tone as before, his pale hands grabbing my shoulders roughly and fingers pressing into my muscles as he forced my body to face his own determined one. His aquamarine eyes searched turquoise blue ones for an answer, a hint, a sign, anything to show him that I still call Destiny Islands my home.

_ I want-_

"I'm not! And that's none of your concern!" In my trying attempt to pry his fingers and hands from my shoulders, his grip only tightened in demand and fear, eyes blazing with anger and his face turned in confusion.

"**_How_** is it **_none_** of my concern? I deserve to know the most out of everyone else!" The aquamarine eyed boy countered back, the sound of his voice straining specific words to articulate the meaning, but I couldn't see clearly. My eyes lost their concentration on what was once the silverette, and I felt a slithering finger such like veins running along my arms.

"Oh no! Not again!" I could barely notice Sora and Kairi running towards us.

"Alright! Break it up! **_Break it up!_**" The familiar voices that spoke harshly in demands echoed in what seemed like a distance, the world around me shaking like rippling water. Once steady but intense breaths became ragged, dragged as my stare into Riku's form churned into a never ending want to _touch_ him, to _feel_ his flesh that let flow the blood beneath it. Mouth hanging open, I inhaled his scent deeply, the mixtures of the aroma _enticing_ me all the more.

_ Get away!_

"Why all the fighting?! Everything used to be fine and dandy between you guys!" Another familiar echo spread throughout the wasteland that was my senses, and they barely managed to pick up the words as my heart's pulse increased to an edge, pulsing rapid and hard. As the colors flashed, the motions of my body let itself rule to its own accord, arms dashing with it in hand, legs bracing against the onslaught of the force. The voices around me increased, overlapping each other but never blending, like oil and water.

**_ Stop!_**

The silverette before me cried in pain, an agonizing sound reaching my ears when his aquamarine orbs met mine with disbelief. Riku's feet staggered as did his breaths, a black, half gloved hand going to his chest, and he coughed hoarsely.

**_ B-Blood..._**

He looked down to his blood covered hand, turning back up to me with unexpectantly dreary eyes. The silver head's hands fell to his sides, my heart skipping, stopping. An explosion of light recoiled from Riku's body, chest lifting upward as if he were being dragged by a chain. Shimmers of sparkling dust surrounded his body, finally emitting an incredibly bright, pink shaded heart that hovered in front of my form. The heart shaped essence floated towards me, the shape and scent of it completely disappearing as it molded and meshed into my chest and a storm of adrenaline rushing through my body. As my eyes shut in the reveling feeling of the energy I had consumed, I breathed deeply, inhaling the scents of the other being's heart before me. Eyes of mine snapped open in the delectable trails of their spirit like hearts, a feral stance taking my body and my vision briefly focusing on the collapsed boy at my feet, silver tresses rumpled, eyebrows furrowed deeply, and translucent, bright blue eyes shielded by pale, closed lids. The manipulation within my mind and body faltered, eyes shutting once again and expression mixing between pain and distress.

_ I'm sorry..._

"I'm sorry..." My sharp teeth grazed over my bottom lip and I bit down hard, drawing the crimson liquid. Every nerve within my body went numb, limbs becoming useless as well as muscles, and for a moment I felt the mimicking feeling of my stomach falling _up_.

"Siren. What're you doing!? **_Siren, stop!_**" The deep voice called out urgently, lies to my ears as I felt the wind brush tenderly against my back and neck, welcoming my coming. Voices blended together again, giving the effect of muffles sounds and noises.

"Grab her! Grab her!" A grip latched deathly tight against my right wrist, dangling feet swaying and the sweetly cold ocean air touching the bare skin on my body. My breaths hollowed out as turquoise blue eyes began to focus once again, separating from whence the still and blank expression arrived from. The blurs of moving white foam blue water in the distance sharpened like the chiseling of a stone statue, smeared droplets becoming crashing waves that pounded against the cliffside. Two black sandal covered feet hung tens of meters above clumps of dirt that cleared to sharp, jagged rocks that jutted out from the drifting ocean, and my head turned up to view the grip of who's hand held me from my fate. I felt my heart skip in fear, Riku's panicked face and gritting teeth meeting my emotionless expression while he laid stomach down, reaching his remaining hand down to completely latch onto my right arm.

_ I'm hurting you..._

"Siren, hold on!" The pain displayed on the silver head's face gave a rapid pace to my heart beat, sweaty, slipping fingers struggling to remain in solid contact with my limb.

"Let me go..." I spoke out blindly, letting the remainder of my vision wander to the endless baby blue sky speckled with snowy white clouds. Aquamarine eyes met my own with rejection glassing over his orbs, his breaths shaking at the sound of my words.

"**_Shut... Up!_**" The more than familiar brunette's voice broke through the adrenaline and pain, sending a new energy into Riku's straining muscles that gripped painfully tight and pulling, tugging my body upward. The rocky edge of the cliff scraped at my arms and torso, leaving scratches that dotted with escaping blood. I felt the solid ground beneath my form so warm, but the air still cool, and I rested my left arm upon the support to lift myself. However, the grip upon the opposite arm would not release, Riku's deathly grip still holding on tight and strong.

"Let g-" I spoke quietly, being interrupted by his harsh voice.

"Never." He replied darkly, cool, water like eyes suddenly burning into my heart, and I tugged weakly at his permanent grip, my expression going meek at his anger.

"Siren, are you okay?" Kairi asked while approaching cautiously, kneeling down silently and reaching out a fair hand to examine the scrapes upon my arms and torso. The reddish-brown haired girl began taking out tiny pebbled and rocks from within the cuts as Sora nudged Riku with his leg. The silverette elbowed his shin in a swift motion, never taking his locked gaze from my own even as the brunette let out a cry of pain.

"Ow!" Sora rubbed his leg gently, giving the silver head a dirty look.

"Let go please..." I asked politely, much quieter than before and breaking the stalemate eye contact we held, looking down to the earthly ground.

"I just... Want to know what's wrong..." Riku's words were gentler than before, and the vice like grip was replaced by tender rubbing on my arm.

_ It's happened again..._

"There's something wr-" I became interrupted again, my expression pressing my eyebrows down. The silver head took my hands into his own, holding them securely, not painfully.

"Don't say that." Riku demanded in a noticeable tone, his determined aquamarine eyes pleading to see my understanding.

"What do you mean?" My voice questioned curiously, confused at his demand in forbidding me to speak those words, thoughts.

"There is nothing wrong with you." At the sound of his explanation, my head dropped down slowly again, vision scanning the ground without concentration. Warm yet sturdy hands were placed upon either of my cheeks, a wide change of temperature compared to my generally low body heat.

"Look at me Siren. There is **_nothing_** wrong with you. Okay?" The hands tugged my head upward, a forcing but gentle movement that made me face him, his expression longing to see relief in my eyes.

_ It's not me I'm worried about..._

"Hey, don't lose yourself." At the sight of my turquoise blue eyes drifting off into thoughts, Riku gave me the reminder that had been spoken a number of times after waking.

"Remember who you are. Don't forget." As the last of his words melted into my mind, strong, warm, and supporting arms wrapped around my torso and ascended to meet at the crook beside my shoulder and neck, the embrace causing trembles to shoot from my stomach up my spine. At the shiver of the contact, Riku only tightened his hug around my body, his breaths lingering down the back of my neck.

_ Comfort... Riku..._

The sea wind whipped around our island, light clouds spotting throughout the baby blue sky.


End file.
